In Closing...

You Write the Songs, You Write the Songs

Ahh, the fickle fortunes of success. A while ago I wrote a tune all about short sales, sung to the tune of the “Love Boat” theme, and wouldn’t you know it, the thing became a monster hit!

All right, maybe that’s overstating it.

Let’s put it another way: I got some positive feedback. The problem is, now I need new songs (to be honest, I’m getting a little tired of always singing “The Short Sale Song”).

I’ve been kicking around new song ideas, but so far haven’t hit pay dirt. Here’s a possibility: a song about the recession, sung to the tune of that old Saturday-morning Sleestak-fest, “Land of the Lost”:

Markets, banks, and housing
on a routine upward bubble,
met one of the greatest recessions ever known.
High on toxic assets
it struck their tiny margins
and plunged them down a thousand points below.

To the land of the lost (lost, lost, lost, lost).

Nah, too general. It needs to be more topical.

Wait, I know. I could talk about why Congress shouldn’t eliminate Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Maybe to the tune of MC Hammer’s “U Can’t Touch This”:

My-my-my-my (U can’t touch them) mortgages hit me so hard
Make me say, “Oh my lord,
thank you for blessing me
with a loan to close and two GSEs.”
It feels good
when your small banks are blessed
with a superdope secondary to help the Midwest.
And both Fannie and Freddie
will keep loans steady!
U can’t touch them.

Then again, maybe not. After all, Congress’ budget negotiations could go on for months, and who knows what the final outcome might be? No, it should be about something that people deal with every day. Something relatable.

MARS. Now there’s a topic worthy of song! Ever since the Federal Trade Commission enacted its Mortgage Assistance Relief Services (MARS) Rule back in January, the real estate industry has been in a state of confusion. When should agents provide MARS disclosures? What if they only receive a commission after closing? How can they comply with MARS disclosure requirements without scaring the wits out of borrowers?

It’s a topic that’s ripe for musical exploration. (Or parody — take your pick.)

Right, so a song … okay … here we go. …

You know what? I’ve got nothing. Zilch. Goose eggs.

Does anybody out there in the blogosphere have a good idea for a MARS song? Maybe there’s some cheesy ’80s sitcom theme stuck in your head that could be exorcised with a little creative songwriting license? This is your chance to shine — send me your MARS song ideas!

In closing -

We NEED a proper MARS song. It can be instructive — a way to help create order from the present chaos — or it can just make fun of the whole situation. Either approach has merit. The important thing is that you stop what you’re doing, write a MARS song, and send it to me. After all, it’s not like you’re busy or anything — you’re just sitting around reading blogs.

Scott Stevenson